I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
