I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
