PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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