look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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