Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
