Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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