Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
