i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
