We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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