the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
