there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize