You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
