Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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