I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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