The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
