U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
