when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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