u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
