I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So much Jack, so little girl.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
