I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
