Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
