the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize