I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
