Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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