we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
