I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
