i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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