I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
