My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
