Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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