I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
