I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
