you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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