areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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