I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The air taste purple.
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