Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
