He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We got so high we made milksteak
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
