whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
