so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
