i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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