It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
