I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
