Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
