I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
