just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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