Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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