so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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