Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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