are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
