Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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