Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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