We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
