i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
