we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So many bounce houses so little time
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
