Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
