I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
