Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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