i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
