So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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