yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize